Existence
by MiyukiGainsborough
Summary: Clint and Natasha run into some heartbreaking trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**Miyuki Gainsborough: This is just a quick drabble I came up with when I was listening to the Clannad soundtrack. This fic is named after the track that inspired me the most for this. I suggest listening to it while you read.**

Natasha let out a scream and clutched her partially swelled stomach. Sweat lined her brow and trickled down the sides of her face as she clenched her eyes shut, trying to hold back another scream. Clint was immediately at her side in the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital room, taking one of her hands and letting her put all the pressure there. "It's going to be alright, Tasha. I promise," he told her, trying to keep his tone free of worry."

"It…it…hurts!" she sobbed. Sure, she had been through hundreds of fights and ended up with nasty wounds but none gave her pain like this.

Clint turned to Bruce who was flipping through medical charts and looking back and forth between multiple computer screens. "Banner, what is going on? She's only three months along!" He didn't want to sound so panicked but his voice wouldn't do what he wanted it to. With Natasha holding his hand so tightly, no one could see him shaking. He knew nothing of pregnancies but knew that the pain she was experiencing at that stage was uncommon.

Bruce wasn't trying to ignore Clint but he wasn't wanting to answer him at that moment. He too felt just as scared as the archer at that moment because of what he was reading in his papers. "Hawk, I need you to leave for a moment." Clint was about to object but the doctor cut him off. "Please, just…let me figure out what is going on. I'll get you when it's time."

Clint looked from Natasha to Bruce to Fury who had been standing back by the door. Fury simple waved to him to come with him. He didn't want to leave her but the agent knew it was best. 'Just for a moment,' he told himself. He leaned to Natasha and gave her a kiss on her forehead before exiting the room with Director Fury.

He took in a deep breath as he heard her scream once more as the door shut. Why was this happening?

An hour passed….one more….and still Clint didn't try to go back to the room without Bruce's approval. Tony had joined him in the S.H.I.E.L.D. bar and did his best to keep his friend calm without the use of too much alcohol. When the door to the room opened, Clint didn't move until he heard Fury's voice simply say, 'Agent Barton…'

At that moment, he was up from the bar and right passed Fury. He stopped for no one or anything as he made his way to the hospital room where she was, the footsteps of Tony and Fury could be heard from behind him.

When the door opened, his eyes were straight to Natasha. Her back was to him but from where he was standing, he could see her shivering. Blood stained the sheets at the base of the bed and he could feel his body run cold.

Bruce kept his eyes to the floor. He wanted to speak but couldn't find the words to tell his friend what happened. "Clint..," was all he could choke out.

The archer stumbled into the room and placed his hand on her shoulder. "T-Tasha…." He heard a small whimper come from her as she slowly rolled over. Her pale cheeks were flushed red and tears overflowed from her eyes and while he did not look down, he knew her hands were cupping her stomach. Her now empty stomach…He didn't know what to think…What to say…Her soft sobs made a lump swell in his throat and his eyes to flood with tears.

Softly, Bruce spoke, "It seems…in the Black Widow program…all the girls had surgeries to make sure that none of them can conceive a child. Tasha was lucky enough to even make it that far with a baby."

Clint choked out a sob of his own and buried his face into her neck, her red curls seeming to engulf him. "Black Widow is meant to be a killer…not a mother…," she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**MiyukiGainsborough: Existence was supposed to be a simple one-shot drabble but I've been inspired to write more because no matter what the story, I want Clint and Natasha to have a happy ending. This chapter is not as great as chapter one in the sense of the writing but I'm leaving it open in case I want to write more eventually.**

It had been only two weeks since the incident and still, no one felt the same. Natasha was spending her days in her permanent room in Stark Tower just sitting in a chair, watching the days pass by her from the large window. Clint was always there for her; getting her to eat, helping her move through the large apartment, and bathing. Whatever she needed done, he was there. Of course, she had other visitors more than one would think. Tony, Bruce, Steve, Thor, and even Fury and Agent Hill once or twice. No one had ever expected to see the Black Widow, the top female assassin, be reduced to a state of complete depression.

Today, her visitors were the complete team, some carrying different items that had been said to be the woman's favorite things. Clint greeted them but they all knew how he had been coping. They had been waiting to see if Natasha was doing any better though it didn't seem so because they found her in the same place she always was.

The group was unsure about approaching her but Tony took a chance, like he always did. He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave a light kiss to her cheek. "Good morning, Tasha. I hope you slept well. I got you a present for our next team drink night." He kept a signature smirk, hoping she would react. He slid a bottle of taquila into her view but did not hand it to her, knowing she would not take it. "And this is all yours."

He saw her slightly turn her head to look at the bottle then to him but went straight to looking back out the window. Of course, no one expected to get it the first time.

Bruce and Steve approached together, only one actually holding something. Steve knelt in front of her while Bruce stood to the side and placed a small red box in her lap. "These are those Russian chocolates you love so much," the Captain told her with his kind smile.

When they saw that had no affect, Thor decided to take his chance though he had doubts of success. "Friend Natasha, we have come to spend the day with you. Shall we put on one of those picture shows and dine on the junk food?" Again, no affect. He too took a step back and just stared at his friend.

Would she forever be lost in her depression? Having the thoughts that she would never be able to birth a child with her lover? Believing that she may never have true happiness without the love of her own child?

Clint walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Tasha, they just want to help. It's your friends. Everyone wants to help you through this."

That was when she actually moved. Her lip quivered and tears gathered in her eyes. She never wanted to show emotion since that was not her character but all the emotions gathering inside her threatened to just burst. "Everyone...please...," she whimpered before placing her face in her hands and beginning to sob. Even though everyone had been to see her before, it was always one or two at a time. Now, this time, everyone together, showed they all truly cared and were worried about her.

Yes, she lost her child and was told she would never have children...but...she had a family right there with her, ready to do the embarrassing just to make her serious exterior crack. Her boys, as she would call them in joke, with how they all acted when they got together, were pretty much her children and she knew she had to pick herself up and take care of them. "You're all...grounded," she whimpered through her hands, letting out just a small laugh.

The group of men all smiled and couldn't help but cheer. Thor was immedietely into the living room with Steve to start up a movie for the whole team to watch, which probably wasn't a good idea with those two playing with the television, Bruce gave Natasha a pat on the back and moved to join the two men, and Tony was doing what Tony did best; start pouring the drinks.

She slowly sat up, trying stopping her crying, and looked around at her friends. "I thought I said you were grounded. Grounded means no television and no alcohol," she joked with a sniffle before looking to Clint who stood beside her. "A child would have been such a hassle, especially when I have to take care of all of you."

"We're all a handful, I know," he chuckled before leaned down and leaving a soft kiss on her lips.


End file.
